So What’s Wrong With You?
As it turns out, there’s nothing wrong with me.
There are only responses to what I’ve been put through.
The Summer Fire
It’s bad enough here in Arizona we have broken the record for how many records broken for breaking record weather in the span of three months.
Well…it wasn’t all that bad.
I started taking drugs.
Just Kidding…Sort Of
In July, I was officially diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and chronic pain.
Just to name a few.
Knowing I am not a by-product of societal norms felt incredibly validating. As a result, I decided to go down the route of becoming a medical marijuana patient. From my first appointment with a qualified practitioner & therapist to the day I received my medical marijuana card, thankfully, took only around a week.
The day I received my card, I checked out a recommended dispensary to gain a little more education on medical marijuana (strains, pens/vapes, edibles, other questionable methods haha, etc.).
Each staff member from verification & security to product expert felt like a warm hug. Each took their time to completely and effectively answer all of my questions big & small. My first day there, I left feeling confident, and a little bit relieved.
Some say it was likely the “second-hand high” but that’s more less of a thing than most people realize.
After the first month of using sativa & indica in both edible and vape form, I had a small “happy” little “breakdown”. Far too long has it been where I felt “normal” again.
Coming Out Of A Depressive Episode
It has taken some time to understand where this depressive episode appeared from.
What triggered it?
What a great question!
Long answer short: I’ve no friggin’ idea.
It’s not to say there hasn’t been a reason to not be depressed; we’re in the middle of a friggin’ pandemic, by the way!
One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn, and what helped me to claw my way out of this depression, is that I’m not responsible nor accountable for the image or person they perceive in their own minds.
Understanding that has helped me realize what was more important: worrying about what others think & feel or living my best damn life.
Obviously, I’ll be I’m focusing on the latter.
Oh, geez, there are a high number of projects that I want to do these days. One of them is writing a new children’s book focusing on positive methods when handling grief and depression.
From my independent research, it seems this is still a taboo subject in the children’s books world.
In my personal opinion and from experience both, the sooner children are able to understand topics like depression, grief, and more, the better off they’ll be in the long run.
I’m looking to continue growing my podcast series but I’m running into a few problems.
Problem number one is creating quality content for all to enjoy. The second problem I have is creating a quality posting schedule. Lastly, what the hell am I going to thoroughly talk about in the podcast? What the hell is it going to be primarily about? What do people care about these days? Do I have a unique angle to questions that people want answers to?
JWO Podcast, only three episodes in, focused on content from around the publishing & general world both, respectively. But there is no real “structure” to the show so that’s something I really need to hone in on before starting again.
Do you have any ideas?
At the end of the day, I would like to feel like I’m frequently creating content for all of you to enjoy in its fullest rather than dealing with parts here and there. Is that through children’s books? Is that through quality podcast content? Short stories? What about mixing short stories with the podcast show? There’s an idea!
But that remains to be seen.
Being a small business owner and a single dad combined is hard enough as it is. When you add in other obligations like running a podcast show, writing and/or reading of any kind, LIFE!, etc., it becomes that much more straining & draining on all levels.
So all I ask is you bear with me as I figure this out.