What We Do In The Dark

A Pseudo Self-Help Guide For Bisexuality

Naming Conventions & The Toxicity Of Modern Social Customs

Hello! Hola! Kon’nichiwa! Bonjour!

It’s almost midnight in Arizona and I’m laying in my bed, once again fighting lack of sleep, using any safe method for a peaceful night’s sleep, but to no avail. What else am I to do while I lay here in the dark, staring up at the ceiling? One word: think. But that means I’ll be laying here until two in the morning, if I’m lucky, before I fall asleep. What’s the next best thing? Not the best idea but I pick up my smart phone and begin scrolling through Facebook. As I’m scrolling through, the more articles I find on us bisexuals, now outnumbering others on the LGBTI+ spectrum, still struggling to find a “community” of sorts. It isn’t just about finding one, but one that is, at minimum, accepting of bisexual men.

Through the course of American history over the last fifty to sixty years, it is plain to see we’ve built a toxic male culture, giving rise to a mental health epidemic. Why? Because some of these men were part of the aforementioned spectrum; among them, a large number being bisexual men.

What Is Bisexuality?

Technically speaking, bisexuality is a romantic attraction, sexual attraction, or sexual behavior toward both males and females, or to more than one sex or gender. It may also be defined as romantic or sexual attraction to people of any sex or gender identity, which is also known as pansexuality.

For some time now, I’ve been a mental health advocate from both a general purpose and a sexual orientation focus. Difficult enough in modern times still reeling from discrimination due to mentioned sexual orientation, yet here we are. More specifically, male bisexuality, no matter how young or old one is.

Over the last ten years, the topic and casting of bisexual characters in movies and in television series is working towards becoming the norm, and used less as the objectification of a female character at a piss-poor attempt for advancing the plot. Don’t get me wrong, we should continue to cast real bisexual women in movies and in television shows, but an equal focus should be given towards bisexual men as well. For the longest time, I’ve been an advocate for mental health awareness and for bisexual men, but lately I realized I started becoming the very thing I hated the most: indifferent.

That same indifference became mentally and visually narrowing.

I had lost sight of what I was really advocating for and knew I had to make a change in my thought processes and advocate strategies both. There should be no issue between who we advocate over the other: male or female. In truth, we should be giving equal attention to both sexes. When we single out one over the other, are we really helping the overall situation? Or are we too selfish to look outside our own biological makeup, still carrying the “one is better than the other” mentality?

I’ll admit I once carried that mindset for quite some time – longer than I care to admit, actually.

We should no longer cry “why is there still so little male bisexual representation?”, and other questions because as we do, we’re inadvertently taking away the spotlight we should really both be sharing equally.

So let’s fight for equal bisexual representation.

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“Not belonging is a terrible feeling. It feels awkward and it hurts, as if you were wearing someone else’s shoes.” – Phoebe Stone.