Where Do We Go From Here?

Nothing, Everything, and What’s To Come

Where do I go from here?

I have been pondering that question for a few weeks now. A few life-altering events have come along, forcing me to take stock my general physical and mental health. And as I reflect on family medical history, a few great concerns arise, giving way to increased anxiety. Began visiting the gym more and rapidly approaching two-months sober (alcohol). Alcohol, mixed with depression and anxiety, has played a key factor in my failing health over a span of ten years. Severe depression and alcoholism are among the largest health risks according to family medical history.

Seeing how the mix has affected certain family members, even often times fatally, I made a promise to myself and the mother of my unborn child to go sober, living the best and longest life possible for them both.

Did you know? In the United States, annually, 88,000 people die from alcohol-related deaths. And 15 million people struggle with an alcohol use disorder, but less than 8% receive treatment. Lastly, men are more likely than women to commit suicide while under the influence of alcohol.

Soon, I will be getting a “gastrocopy”, short for¬†Esophagogastroduodenoscopy. Due to being diagnosed with GERD, accompanied with specific other ailments, is the reason for the procedure. We shall see how all that will go.

Heavy alcohol use exacerbated these ailments.

Seeing as I have a child on the way, they serve as my greatest motivation for bettering my physical and mental health. Each day, when I feel like giving up, relapsing, and more, I think about my unborn child and the life I want to have with them. I think about how I want to be there moments after they’re born, watch them grow every day before my eyes, watch them take their first steps, and hear them say their first words and so, so much more.

“Chase your dreams but always know the road that’ll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you’ll always be, my little girl.”

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